Saturday, July 31, 2010

How to Make the Sky Rain Coconuts....


...with pinpoint accuracy


Historical records are littered with accounts of mundane objects inexplicably falling from the sky. Some of these objects include rocks, fish, stones, coins, frogs, etc...


Curiously, in these instances there seems to be a lack of variety of falling objects when this phenomenon presents itself. For example, when stones falls from the sky there will be an absence of any other kind of matter (frogs, fish, coins, etc…) ;when fish fall from the sky there won’t be any stones.

Before the Age of Reason such incidences were thought to be the work of witches in league with the devil. Many renowned scientist of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries investigated reports of stones dropping out of the sky. They touched them, probed them and examined witnesses to their fall, but could not face the implications of the evidence.

One theory suggests that such stones are actually meteorites, but this has been disproved in many cases. Other theories suggest that storms and/or tornadoes are responsible for picking up small animals and hurling them through the skies to their death below.  In the modern era, some have theorized that these falling objects are a result of our dimensional reality intersecting with other parallels realms. While many theories have been put forth, no conclusive answer has been forthcoming.

The following spell, found in the Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead purports to cause your enemy to be struck down by a coconut falling from a great height. It reads……

Form the image of your enemy in clay or mud that has been gathered at the mouth of the Nile River. Face the general direction of your enemy and place the image on the ground before you. Kneel over the image holding a coconut. Raise the coconut over your head and say:

“In the name of Geb,

by the power of Shu;

open sky and subdue!”


Smash the image to bits with the coconut. When you are done, stand up and walk away in the opposite direction without looking back.

~Nigel Lovecraft~

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